Slipped away from each other

"I do not want to go back to this constant tug of love and war where sometimes you love me more and I love you more," she said to herself in frustration, as she entertains her inner dialogue from a third-person perspective...

But somehow we foolishly keep squabbling about how to weigh our love in actions and in gestures of kindness.

Does it matter in the grand scheme of things in this realm of physical who has indulged more in immoral behavioural patterns? Unfortunately, this ridiculous world is pre-conceptualised by creating boundaries so that we can all fit into our designated cubicles with specific functions.

They always and never cease to say that Love is blind but not only that, it cripples her to an extent where her vision of herself gets fogged up with her partner's and no one minds. That is because in this mist, lies a happy bubble of factors: these are characteristics of what society uses to coerce us with.

Freedom of being herself unapologetically, smiling for no reason, expressing herself in ways that no one else would dare to understand. In this effervescent emotion, two people create space for each other so that both are welcomed with respect all the time with always a breath of fresh air.

In that dimension which could be under a blanket, in each other’s arms or just over a phone call, there is adequate warmth and abundance metastasised that, at some point, no one wants to come back to reality for a while.

Loving consists of giving fully and receiving with an open heart.

Whether it is pleasure in the form of Food, Advice, Kisses with A distinct intonation, A soft gaze, Kind words uttered, Soothing caresses where no one else would touch you, Mellow breathy whispers that only sound harmoniously, Fickle fondles when no one is paying attention. The list is endless but beyond all, the love between the two is maintained by Trust.

Love is built on a scaffolding of Trust and these two walk hand in hand.

Humans have the need to belong and the connection provides a sense of gratification. Once the connection is induced and established, the exigent job is to still feel inquisitive about each other:

What can we discover together? Where can we travel to and be silly? Where is the most outrageous place to have sex? What are those weird fetishes you have dreamt of but never had the guts to say out loud? What are your views about this book, this constellation or how the universe has unfolded us onto each other?

As a virtue of our being together, it does not merely depend on coincidence or serendipity: deep down somewhere it has to have a reason and that is our collective beautiful purpose to unearth.

Unluckily at first, this uprooting can be unpleasant but bearable; for its reasons are not us as a couple but as individuals who have emerged from different cultural, social and ethical backgrounds with conditioned expectations that the other party has no idea of and also the latter cannot fully decipher its unspoken and unheard consequences. After a few repetitions, it turns too distasteful and ugly as one does not exactly unravel itself as predicted. Also, when the going gets hard, we turn our backs on each other and get immersed into anyone else but the required person. Eventually, a minor difference takes the shape of a grotesque mould, engulfing and bursting that bubble.

What remains is two lonely individuals who have loved dearly and lost all, gone astray...

If she trusts that he will be her companion, from that point she has fully surrendered herself to him. But then arises the curiosity of newfound people around the globe where we get excessively gregarious to discover and end up bonding with them on a different level than the previous one.

Does that make the prior connection insignificant?
Was the second one better because it is like a hot bun just out of the oven and who would not desire that, over the old loaf lying on the counter for the last few days?
What can be brutal is when one is already out of the hub and the other one is still lying there, reaching out in desperation but in vain.

So patience bears fruits, they said thus the wait prolongs…

In the midst of incomprehensible forbearance, it carries on. On some days, there are glimpses of the Lover she once knew and could kiss for hours without getting bored. Now being a couple has become a task: like a household task whereby the chore has to be done so, we can survive and linger with most emotions masked and washed away.

They do not really recognise each other anymore and the sole purpose to carry on is sustainability.